GATES OF HELL, Hell — Satan, the Prince of Darkness was caught by surprise with the sudden and sneaky ceremony held today at the Libingan ng mga Bayani (LNMB), where former president Ferdinand Marcos was laid to rest.
“WHY WASN’T I INFORMED EARLIER?!” a visibly irked Satan told reporters here on Friday. “Construction of the Marcos Wing has yet to be completed!”
The Marcos Wing, located at the lowest bowels of Hell was set to be operational on December 11th and has all the bells and whistles fit for someone as evil as Marcos.
“It has chambers, dungeons and assorted torture implements for electric shock, strangulation, Russian roulette, and other forms of torture,” added the Father of Lies.
But Satan was quick to point out that the aforementioned implements are not to be used by the late dictator for his enjoyment.
“Oh no! It’s the other way around.” he clarified. “I’d like him to feel how…
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